


We're Okay

by tabbytabbytabby



Category: 9-1-1 (TV)
Genre: Angst, Domestic Fluff, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Family Feels, First Kiss, Fluff, Hugs, Love Confessions, M/M, Mutual Pining, Nightmares, Season/Series 03, Sexual Tension, Worried Eddie Diaz
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-09
Updated: 2019-11-12
Packaged: 2020-11-28 11:55:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 16,393
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20966156
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tabbytabbytabby/pseuds/tabbytabbytabby
Summary: When Buck tells Eddie that Christopher is missing, Eddie wants nothing more than for it to be a bad dream. Then he has Christopher back in his arms, safe and whole, and his worry shifts to Buck.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Woo boy. This episode, or really the last three, have given me a lot of feelings. I just had to dive into Eddie's head a little bit.

Eddie doesn't want to believe it. He wants this whole thing to be a dream. For him to have fallen asleep somewhere and this just be his mind being a dick. Because of course he would think of Christopher after the day he's had. He just needs to wake up. Then he can call Buck and he can tell him they're both okay.

But that doesn't happen. Buck is standing in front of him, looking distressed as he holds out Christopher's glasses to Eddie and tries to explain. Eddie barely hears it. There's a whooshing in his ears and everything seems a little unfocused. 

This can't be happening. He can't lose his son. He can't. The best part of his whole entire fucking existence can't be gone. He can’t. Eddie has always been able to pull himself back up, but if he loses Christopher…

He can’t look at Buck right now, can’t handle seeing how devastated and helpless he looks, not when his life feels like it’s falling apart, and he’s close to lashing out at the nearest possible person. Which right now is Buck, and even in his distress he doesn’t want to lash out at Buck.

He catches sight of yellow and red over Buck's shoulder and sucks in a breath. He knows that shirt and that wet mop of hair. 

"Christopher," he whispers, stumbling past Buck to get to his son. 

“Eddie…”

He takes Christopher into his arms, the sob he’s been holding back ever since Buck told him Christopher was missing finally leaving him. Only now it’s on of relief. Because Christopher is here. He’s alive and in his arms. And asking for Buck.

Eddie looks over his shoulder at Buck, who’s watching them with the same relief Eddie knows he’s feeling. Eddie makes Christopher look away as Buck starts to fall forward and Bobby, Chim, and Hen lower him to the ground. Even as fear grips his chest and he wants to go to him. 

“Bobby?” Eddie calls over to him, unable to keep the concern out of his voice.

Bobby turns his head to look at him, “He’s okay. I think the exhaustion just caught up to him.”

“He did so much,” an unfamiliar voice says to his right. 

“He saved us all,” another woman says.

“He’s our hero, Dad,” Christopher tells him. “He saved me, and saved them.”

“Of course he did,” Eddie says, running a hand through his hair. That’s just who Buck is, firefighter or not. He’s always going to look out for everyone else before even thinking of himself. And taking in the state Buck is in he’s done just that. 

“Is Buck okay?” Christopher asks him. “I want to see him.”

Eddie looks over at where Buck is still lying. His eyes are closed now, but Eddie can see the steady rise and fall of his chest. “He’s okay, buddy. He just went to sleep.”

“He needs it,” Christopher says.

“So do you,” Eddie says, getting to his feet and taking Christopher into his arms. He smiles and puts his glasses on him. “You’ve had a long day.”

“You’re really lucky to have a boyfriend like Buck,” one of the women says. “He’s very brave, and obviously loves this little boy.”

Eddie opens his mouth, prepared to correct her, but stops himself. Instead he just smiles. “Don’t I know it?”

Buck has more than proven how much he loves Christopher. Eddie’s seen it, not just today, but in everything he does. And Christopher loves him. He trusts him. Eddie’s just going to have to remind Buck just how much he means to both of them.

“You didn’t tell her Buck wasn’t your boyfriend,” Christopher says as they start to walk away. 

“No,” Eddie says, not even sure how to explain why he didn’t. 

Of course Christopher knows. “You want him to be your boyfriend.”

Eddie looks down at him. He’s smiling as his head rests on Eddie’s chest. “Would you be okay with that?” Eddie asks him.

“Yeah, I love Buck,” Christopher says. “And you do too.”

Eddie sighs and looks at where they’re loading Buck onto a stretcher. Maddie is with them now, holding Buck’s hand and brushing the hair back from his face. He’s still passed out. Eddie is once again hit with the desire to go to him. To hold his other hand and tell him everything is okay. 

Christopher yawns and snuggles further into his arms, “Are we going home, Dad?”

Eddie knows he should say yes. He should be taking Christopher home. But his legs are moving towards Buck. He needs to see for himself that he’s okay. Hen steps up before he reaches them, smiling as she holds out her arms. 

“Why don’t I take him for a bit?” 

Eddie lets out a breath of relief, grateful that she understands that Christopher probably doesn’t need to see Buck like this. He turns to his son, “You okay going with Hen for a little bit?”

Christopher nods, “Yeah.”

Eddie smiles and kisses the side of his face, “Just for a bit and we’ll go home.”

“Why don’t we get go get you something to drink?” Hen asks, as she takes Christopher from Eddie.

“No thank you,” Christopher says. “I think I’ve had enough water.”

That startles a laugh out of Eddie. He hears another familiar laugh from nearby, “I think we all have, buddy.”

“Buck!” Christopher says, twisting in Hen’s arms. “Dad, Buck’s awake!”

“I can see that,” Eddie says, looking down at where Buck is peering up at them. His eyes are lidded. He’s clearly still fighting off exhaustion.

“I’m glad you’re okay,” Buck says. 

At Eddie’s nod, Hen brings Christopher over to Buck. Eddie follows as she leans down next to him. Christopher reaches out, touching Buck’s face as he smiles. “You’re gonna be okay, kid.”

Eddie doesn’t understand. He knows he’s missed something, but Buck smiles and reaches up to gently squeeze Christopher’s neck. 

“Are you going to be okay?” Bobby asks, quiet enough that no one else can hear.

Eddie doesn’t understand the question at first. He’s not the one that almost died, even if today was hell. Then he feels the hot tears on his cheeks. When he started crying again, he’s not sure. He just feels so relieved. Christopher is okay. Buck is okay. They survived this hell of a day. Just seeing them together, seeing how much they love each other, makes Eddie want to weep. 

“Go to them,” Bobby says, squeezing his arm.

Eddie doesn’t need to be told twice. He moves to Buck’s side, taking Christopher from Hen. He hugs both of them, not caring what a mess he must look like. 

“I’m sorry,” Buck says, his voice barely above a whisper.

“It’s okay,” Eddie tells him. “We’re okay.”

He knows it might take more convincing to get Buck to trust himself again, but Eddie vows to do whatever it takes to make sure he gets there. To see how much Eddie and Christopher both trust him and love him. 

For now he lets himself take comfort in the fact that the two most important people are alive, maybe a little worn down, but safe in his arms.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! Kudos/Comments make my day ♥  
This was originally just a oneshot, but then my brain decided it wanted to do another chapter leading up to Eddie going to Buck's apartment. So hopefully that will be up soon.  
[My tumblr](http://tabbytabbytabby.tumblr.com/)


	2. Chapter 2

What Eddie quickly finds out is just because someone appears happy and fine on the outside, that doesn't necessarily mean there isn't pain waiting to break to the surface underneath. Especially when that someone is an eight year old who has experienced something traumatic. 

"Buck! Buck! BUCK!"

Eddie jolts awake, the sounds of Christopher's panicked screaming having him alert and out of bed in seconds. He stumbles down the hall to Christopher's room and fumbles with the light switch. 

Christopher is in bed, thrashing around as his hands grip the sheets. His eyes are closed tightly, but Eddie can see tears leaking past. 

"Buck!"

Eddie goes to Christopher. He puts his hands on his shoulders, trying to calm him but not startle him.

"Chris. Hey buddy, come on. It's dad."

Christopher wails, kicking out his legs and almost knocking Eddie from the bed. 

"Christopher!"

"Buck! Buck!"

Eddie knows what's happening. Christopher has to be trapped in a nightmare about what happened. He needs Buck. Under different circumstances Eddie has no doubt he'd rush over here, but he still hasn't been given the clear to drive and at this hour. 

He doesn't want to leave Christopher like this but he needs his phone. He needs a way to calm Christopher. 

He rushes down the hall and grabs his phone off the bedside table, quickly pressing the call button as he heads back to Christopher's room, not even thinking about what time it is until Buck's tired voice rings down the line. 

"Eddie? Is everything okay?"

"No," Eddie says. He takes a deep breath and sits back down next to Christopher, who's still wailing Buck's name. "Christopher he…"

"Is that him?" Buck asks, sounding more alert. There's the sound of rustling on the other end of the line as Buck shifts. "Wait, is he…?"

"He's calling your name," Eddie sighs. "He's having a nightmare and I can't get him out of it. I'm sorry for calling this late. I just… I thought it might help to hear your voice."

"Of course," Buck says, his tone softening. "Put me on speaker to where he can hear me."

"Okay." Eddie pulls the phone away and hits the speaker button. "You're on."

Christopher is still chanting a steady stream of Buck's name as he continues to writhe on the bed. Eddie can feel his heart breaking. 

"Christopher," Buck says, his voice coming steadily down the line. "Chris? Hey buddy. It's Buck. I'm here, buddy."

Christopher goes still, the screaming cutting off. His head turns towards the sound of Buck's voice, but he doesn't open his eyes.

"Buck?"

This one is said much softer. He's responding to Buck's voice. It's working. 

"Yeah buddy, I'm here. So is your dad. You're safe, alright?"

"Dad," Christopher whispers. 

Eddie reaches out and brushes his hair back. "Yeah Chris. I'm here. You're okay."

Christopher's eyes peak open, blinking up at him. "Dad."

Eddie takes him into his arms as he starts to cry. He shushes him as he runs a calming hand down his back. "It's okay, Christopher. You're safe. I've got you."

"Buck," Christopher calls.

"I'm here too," Buck reassures him. "I'm okay. So are you. You're home with your dad and you're safe."

“You’re okay?” Christopher asks.

“I’m okay,” Buck assures him. “We’re both okay.”

“You were having a nightmare, buddy,” Eddie tells him. 

“It felt real,” Christopher says. “I couldn’t find Buck and I was so scared.”

There’s a sharp intake of breath from the other line. Eddie can only imagine what Buck must be feeling. But he can picture his face. He remembers the devastation there. 

“But he found me,” Christopher goes on. “He saved me.”

Buck doesn’t argue. Not with Christopher at least. Though Eddie has no doubt he’s warring with the guilt in his mind. 

“Buck?” Christopher says, turning his head towards the phone. “Are you there?”

“Yeah buddy,” Buck says. “I’m here.”

“Will you stay on until I fall asleep?”

“Sure Chris. I’ll be right here,” Buck tells him.

Eddie stays with Christopher, holding him close as he settles down. The phone rests next to his head on the pillow. Eddie’s aware of Buck’s soft breathing coming down the line, and wonders if he’s fallen back asleep himself. He doesn’t ask, not wanting to disturb the silence until Christopher has fallen back asleep. 

It’s always amazed Eddie how quickly he can fall asleep. It’s always something Eddie has envied. Then again he hasn’t been through half of what Eddie has. Eddie hopes he never has to. That this is the worst thing to ever haunt his dreams. 

He just wishes he could shield him from this pain forever. He knows it’s unrealistic. He can’t protect him forever, but damn if he isn’t going to try. He knows things could be a lot worse. That Buck did everything he could to stop him from seeing a lot of the horrors out there, preventing his son from being scarred for life.

Christopher’s breathing has evened out, and peers down to see his eyes closed, his face relaxed in the way it only ever is when he’s sleeping.

“Buck?” Eddie whispers.

“Yeah?” Buck’s voice is quiet as it comes down the line.

“Thank you.”

Those two words encompass so much. Thank you for being there. Thank you for not giving up. Thank you for loving my son. Thank you for keeping him safe, and making sure he comes home to me. Thank you for being the amazing, strong man you are. 

“Of course,” Buck says. “I’ll always be here if you need me.”

Eddie takes a deep breath, feeling his own exhaustion start to creep up. “So will I.”

“He’s asleep?” Buck asks.

“Yeah,” Eddie says, running a hand gently through Christopher’s hair. “He’s asleep. You should sleep too.”

There’s a moment of silence, as if Buck is wanting to say something else. Eddie waits. “Goodnight Eddie.”

“Goodnight Buck.”

There’s a moment where they both stay on the line, just breathing quietly together. Not for the first time Eddie wishes Buck were here with them. Not across town alone. He opens his mouth, not even sure what he plans to say, and then the line clicks. Eddie glances at the phone to see the call has ended. He sighs and closes his eyes. 

Eddie promises himself that tomorrow he’ll figure out a way to talk to Buck, to get through to him, to make him understand that no matter what he thinks he did everything he could. It’s not going to be an easy road. Eddie knows just how much guilt can eat at someone, making it impossible to see anything but the things you did wrong. But he’s not going to let Buck live in that. He’s going to make damn sure of that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm laughing at myself here. This was supposed to be two chapters, and well... I clearly couldn't stick to that. I'm not even going to give it a chapter count anymore. It'll be done when it wants.  
Thanks for reading! I'd love to know what you think! <3  
[My tumblr](http://tabbytabbytabby.tumblr.com/)


	3. Chapter 3

Eddie wakes to the sight of Christopher grinning down at him. He smiles and ruffles his hair. "Morning bud. You ready to get up and start the day?"

"I've been ready," Christopher tells him. 

"Well I'm sorry for making you wait," Eddie laughs and stands from the bed. "Come on. I have something special planned for today."

"Don't you work?" Christopher questions. 

"I do," Eddie says. "But the something special isn't for me."

"Who's it for?" Christopher asks him. 

"How would you like to spend the day with your Buck?"

The happiness that spreads across Christopher's face at just the mention of Buck makes his heart flutter. 

Christopher gets out of bed and moves to his dresser. 

"What are you doing?"

"I'm getting ready to go see Buck!"

Eddie laughs, “Alright buddy, I'll get ready and then I’ll be back to help you."

"I've got this," Christopher tells him. 

Eddie has no doubt he does. 

It's not long before they're both ready and Eddie has them in the car heading to Buck's apartment. 

"Are you excited to see Buck?" Eddie asks, glancing at Christopher in the rearview mirror. 

"Yeah," Christopher says, grinning wide. "I always have fun with Buck. Hey Dad?"

"Yeah bud?"

"Do you think we can get pizza?"

Eddie chuckles, "I'm sure you can. And you need to make sure Buck eats plenty."

"I will," Christopher tells him. "Buck loves pizza."

It's not long before Eddie is parking outside Buck's apartment. He helps Christopher out of the car and grabs his bag, and together they make their way towards the elevator. 

Eddie still has a key and could easily let himself in, but instead knocks, wanting to surprise him. He's not sure why he feels so nervous standing outside Buck's door. He's been here so many times before. But this feels different. It's the first time he's going to be face to face with Buck since the tsunami. 

Still, he tries to play it off as he walks in behind Christopher, talking enough to not give Buck much of a chance to argue, and making a half teasing comment about Buck needing extra pizza to hide his worry. 

Buck, of course, is having none of it. "You want me to watch Christopher?"

Eddie shrugs, "It's easy. He's not very fast."

The attempt at humor falls flat. Buck steps closer stopping only a few feet away. "After everything that happened?"

"A natural disaster happened, Buck."

"I lost him, Eddie." The way his voice breaks around the words makes Eddie’s heart ache. Eddie had been about Buck feeling guilty, and that just won’t do.

"You saved him," Eddie says, pointing towards where Christopher is sitting in front of the TV. "That's how he remembers it. Now it's his turn to do the same for you."

"I was… I was supposed to look out for him."

"And what? You think you failed?" Eddie asks. "I've failed that kid more times than I care to count, and I'm his father. But I love him enough to never stop trying. I know you do too."

Buck still doesn't look convinced. Eddie can see the guilt lingering in his eyes, no doubt tearing away at him. He needs Buck to understand, to see how important he is. To see that

"Buck." Eddie puts his hand on Buck's shoulder, his finger brushing across the skin of his throat, right over his pulse. The steady pulsing there reassuring Eddie he's okay. He's alive. He's safe. He just needs to understand. Eddie moves his head until he meets Buck's eyes, his gaze not wavering. "There is nobody in this world that I trust with my son more than you."

Buck's face morphs, as shock and awe appear there and something else that thrills Eddie as much as it terrifies him. Eddie wants to linger. He wants to stay close. To tell Buck how important he is. To do something crazy like kiss him. But he doesn't. 

He claps Buck on the shoulder and turns towards Christopher, swallowing down any lingering feelings of longing. He says goodbye to his son, aware of Buck still standing there, almost in a daze. 

"Maybe go to zoo this time?" Eddie suggests. "Something inland." That at least earns a small laugh from Buck, which Eddie counts as a win. "Oh um," he hesitates by the door, looking in at Buck, who is watching him again. He's not sure what he plans to say, but he needs to say something. "Thank you, for not giving up."

He barely catches Buck's nod before the door closes between them. 

He wishes he could stay here, taking comfort in them both being safe and alive. Just spend the day with Buck and Christopher coloring and watching movies, reminding them both how much they mean to him. 

He hopes Christopher is at least able to accomplish that with Buck. 

Eddie has one more stop he has to make before going into work. He'd gotten the address from Maddie, who at first seemed reluctant, but had agreed once Eddie had explained who the woman was. 

Eddie knocks on the door, two loud thuds, before he places both his hands in his pockets. It's more to stop himself from fidgeting nervously than anything else. 

He knows it's her as soon as she opens the door, but he still has to ask to be sure. "Gabriela?"

She nods. "Si."

"I'm Eddie," he says, holding out one of his hands. "I'm…"

"Christopher's father." She smiles as she covers his hand with both of hers. "How is he doing?"

"He's doing good," Eddie says. "Can I um.. can I come in?"

"Oh of course!" Gabriela says. She steps back from the door for Eddie to pass through, and gestures towards the couch. "Please. Sit."

Eddie chooses to sit in one of the chairs, leaving her to sit on the couch across from him. "Christopher's okay? And Buck?"

Eddie smiles. "Yeah. I just dropped Christopher off with Buck a few minutes ago."

"Oh good. I could tell how much he cares for Buck from the way he talked. And Buck… I've only seen that much relief at seeing a child alive on the face of a parent. You're both lucky to have him."

"I definitely know that," Eddie murmurs. He thinks about the look on Buck's face earlier. The awe in which he looked at Eddie when he told him he trusted him. The way just that hint of skin felt under his thumb, as his pulse thumped under the touch, signaling life. 

Eddie shakes himself. He shouldn't be thinking that right now. "I came here because I never got a chance to properly thank you for what you did for Christopher."

"Oh that was nothing," she says, waving him off. 

"It wasn't," Eddie argues. "You carried him all that way, and that's no small feat. I know how tiring that can be. But you kept at it. You didn't stop. You got him back to us. And I will never be able to thank you enough for that. For getting my son back to me."

Gabriela smiles gently and leans forward, covering Eddie's hand with her own. "You don't have to thank me. I did what anyone would, or should, have done when they saw a little boy crying out for his father."

Eddie nods, "I was so relieved to have him back."

She smiles and sits back, "I wasn't just talking about you, Eddie."

Eddie knows what she's referring to, but he can't say it outloud. Can't acknowledge it. Instead he changes the subject. 

"We'd all like to thank you," Eddie says. "Have you over for dinner. I know Christopher would love to see you again."

"I'd like that," Gabriela says. "He's such a sweet boy, and it would be nice to meet this Buck he's talked so much about."

"I have to get to work, but if it's not too weird I'd like to get your number so I can text you about the details."

"Of course it's not," she says, smiling kindly at him. 

Eddie only stays for another few minutes before he leaves, thanking her again before he goes, and promising to reach out. 

He's only a couple miles from the station, but with traffic he still winds up pulling in 5 minutes late. He grabs his bag and rushes inside. He's made it to the locker room when Bobby walks in. 

"You're late," Bobby says. Eddie doesn't miss the worry underneath the stern look he sends Eddie's way. 

"Yeah, sorry about that," Eddie says, putting his bag down next to his locker. "I had something I had to take care of."

"Did you need someone to watch Christopher?" Bobby asks. "Because you know he's always welcome here."

Eddie smiles, "I know, and I appreciate that. But I dropped him off with Buck."

The briefest look of surprise crosses Bobby's face before its replaced with a proud smile. "Good. I'm glad."

"He needs it, you know?" Eddie says, knowing Bobby knows who he's referring to. "They both do. Not that Buck made it easy."

"He tried to fight you," Bobby says, leaning back against a nearby locker. 

"Of course he did," Eddie says, shaking his head. "He thinks he's let Chris down. He just needed a little reminder that he hasn't. That I trust him."

"And you told him that?"

"I did," Eddie says. "I told him there's nobody in this world I trust with Christopher more than him."

Bobby whistles, “Big words."

"I meant them."

"Boy you might as well get down your knees and propose to him," Hen says. 

Eddie turns, not surprised to see Hen and Chimney standing there. 

"She has a point," Chimney says. 

Eddie shakes his head, "It's not…"

"If you're about to say it's not like that I might have to smack you upside the head," Hen tells him. "Because we all know it's _ like that. _"

"Am I that obvious?"

"Just a bit," Bobby says. "But if it helps it's not just you."

Eddie thinks about the way Buck had looked at him earlier. That look of awe and realization that Eddie had tried to pass off as something else. Only because he was too scared to acknowledge it. They've both been through so much. So has Christopher.

"He's my best friend," Eddie says. "If we tried this and it didn't work out…"

"Everyone has that fear," Bobby tells him. "And I know you're thinking about Christopher too. But that little boy already loves Buck so much. And Buck loves him too. You've already hit the jackpot here, Eddie. Now you just have to tell him how you feel."

Eddie knows he's right, but that doesn't mean he's not terrified. Buck is so important. Not just to him, but Christopher as well. He's going to have to do this right.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! I’d love to know what you think of the chapter. 💜  
[My tumblr](http://tabbytabbytabby.tumblr.com/)


	4. Chapter 4

It’s not that easy finding the right time to tell Buck how he feels. He’s come close a few times, the words there on the tip of his tongue, but something has always stopped him. He knows it’s because he’s afraid. How could he not be? Buck is his best friend. If he screws this up not only will Eddie lose him, but so could Christopher. 

But he knows he can’t keep this up. He keeps thinking about Bobby’s advice, and knows he should just tell him. The team all clearly thinking so from the looks they give him every time they see him and find out Eddie still hasn’t said anything.

They’ve just finished dinner, and Eddie and Buck are sitting at the bar while Christopher colors in the dining room. It’s been silent for a while now, but Eddie doesn’t know how to break the silence. And when did that happen? This is Buck. He should just be able to talk to him about anything.

"I've made a decision," Buck says, breaking Eddie out of his thoughts. 

"Yeah?"

Buck nods. "Yeah. I'm going to do light duty. 

"Really?" Eddie asks, looking over at him. 

Buck shrugs, his gaze focused on his glass of water. "It's not ideal but I want to be back at the 118. If that means sticking it out on light duty then I'll do it."

"That's great man," Eddie says, clapping him on the shoulder with a grin. "What changed your mind?"

"You mean besides the life altering tsunami?" Buck says. "I guess I just had time to think about it and I can understand where everyone is coming from. Blood thinners aren't something to mess with. Like that cut I got on my arm during the tsunami? It normally would have been this little thing. But instead it was just bleeding and bleeding. The thought of that happening on the job somewhere more serious than my arm..." Buck shakes his head. "I hate it but they're right. So I'm gonna do what I need to in order to get healthy and off these blood thinners. Then I'll be back where I belong."

Eddie’s relieved. He’s been worried about Buck these past few months. He’s hated seeing him so down and without much of a purpose. Hopefully this can give him the direction he needs. There’s just one thing…

“I don’t know how I’m going to break this to Christopher.”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean, he’ll be excited that you’re going to be a firefighter again, but I don’t know how I’m supposed to tell him he won’t have his Buck around all the time.”

“I’ll still be around,” Buck says. 

“I know, but he’s gotten spoiled lately,” Eddie says, grinning over at him. “We both have.”

Buck smiles, “I guess if being out of work has done one thing for me it’s spending more time with you guys. Now we’ll just have to make an effort.” He looks over at where Christopher is sitting at the table, coloring. “Do you want me to tell him?”

“It might make him feel better if you did,” Eddie says.

Buck nods and gets to his feet. He walks over to the table and sits next to Christopher. Christopher looks up at him with a grin and gestures down at his drawing.

“What this?” Buck asks him.

“It’s you and Dad and me,” Christopher says.

Buck glances over at Eddie before turning back to Christopher. “That’s really nice buddy.”

“I like having you here,” Christopher tells him. “So does Daddy.”

“I like being here,” Buck says. Eddie watches as he swallows, his face pinched as he probably works out how to tell Christopher. “I have something I need to tell you.”

Christopher puts down his crayon and looks at Buck, “What is it?”

“I’m going back to work,” Buck tells him. “I’m going to be a firefighter again.”

Christopher grins, “Really?”

“Yeah,” Buck says. “Really.”

Christopher pats his cheek, “I’m happy for you.”

“I won’t be able to watch you as much as I have been since I’ll be working,” Buck tells him. “But I’m still going to be around, and we can hang out and do things together. Okay?”

Christopher nods, “Okay Buck.”

Eddie’s throat tightens as he watches them. Christopher loves Buck so much. That much is clear, and damn it so does Eddie.

“Fuck,” Eddie mutters. He doesn’t realize how loud he said it until both Buck and Christopher look at him. 

Christopher shakes his head, “You’re not supposed to curse, Dad.”

Buck snickers, “Yeah Eddie.”

Eddie takes a deep breath and looks at the ceiling, “I’m sorry, Christopher. You’re right. I should know better.”

Christopher leans in close to Buck, “He’s just sad because he’s going to miss you.”

Eddie knows he probably wasn’t supposed to hear it, but he does. Buck’s eyes move to Eddie. “I’m going to miss him too.”

Yep. Eddie is really and truly screwed. He makes himself turn away before he does something crazy like blurt out his undying love for Buck right now. At least it’d be out in the open, he supposes. But he’d rather not humiliate himself in front of his son.

“Christopher wants me to help him to bed and read him a story,” Buck tells him. 

Christopher is already starting down the hall, “Come on Buck!”

Eddie nods, “You better go.”

He waits until they’re both out of the room before banging his head on the wall. The universe has to be out to get him.

* * *

“Have you told him yet?” 

Eddie sighs at the sound of Hen’s voice. A moment later she’s sitting down across from him next to Chimney. Both are watching him expectantly. He can feel Bobby’s eyes on him from his place at the stove.

“Of course he hasn’t,” Chimney says. “If he had we would have heard all about it by now.”

“It’s not that easy!” Eddie says, the familiar argument falling from his lips.

“Of course it’s not,” Chimney says. “But it’s worth it. And you know Buck feels the same way so…”

“Do I?” Eddie asks. “Has he actually said that?”

“Well no…”

“Then how do you know? How could you know that I won’t tell him I love him only to have him reject me because he doesn’t feel the same way?”

“The same way we all knew how in love with Buck you were before you even told us,” Hen says. “Neither one of you are all that subtle.”

“But we can understand how you’re afraid,” Bobby says. “It’s a big step to make, and you’re not just thinking about yourself. But like I told you before, he loves Christopher, and he loves you. He’s not going to reject to Eddie.”

“Then why doesn’t he tell me?”

“Because he’s probably freaking out too,” Chimney says. “And worrying about ruining your friendship and possibly losing Christopher. Which we all know won’t happen.”

“Of course not,” Eddie says.

“So just tell him,” Hen says. “Put us all out of our damn misery. Especially Buck. And yourself. We’ve seen how you’ve been looking at him in his new uniform.”

“Damn tight white shirt,” Eddie mutters.

Hen laughs, “He does look good. If you don’t snatch him up, someone else might.”

Eddie goes cold. He imagines some random stranger coming on to Buck, because how could they not? And Buck…

“He doesn’t do random hook ups anymore,” Eddie tells them.

Bobby rests a hand on his arm, “Just talk to him, Eddie.”

“It won’t be weird if it does work out and we’re working together when he comes back?”

“As long as it doesn’t interfere with your job,” Bobby shrugs. “We all just want you to be happy. Both of you.”

Eddie nods. 

“Hello? Anyone here?”

Eddie turns at the sound of Buck’s voice down below. He’s out of his seat and moving towards the railing before he can even think about it. Buck’s presence calling to him. He sees Eddie and he grins. “Ah there he is.”

Even from up here Eddie can see how tight Buck’s shirt is across his arms as he crosses them, raising an expectant eyebrow. “Well? Are you coming down to say hi or not?”

“Go,” Hen hisses, pushing him towards the stairs. “He’ll be right down. We’re all… busy. But you can take as long as you want with Eddie.”

Eddie catches her wink and almost stumbles on the stairs. Buck raises an eyebrow when he reaches him.  
“Why is everyone acting so weird?”

“What?”

“Hen saying they’re busy when I know they’re all just getting ready to eat. And Chimney and Bobby peeking down here like I can’t see them doing it,” Buck says, nodding up to where Chimney’s head has just disappeared behind a wall. “Have you guys been drugged again?”

Eddie grins, “No. They’re just being weird.” He shakes his head. “So what brings you here?”

“What? I have to have a reason to come visit?” Buck questions.

“No, but you usually do. And it’s usually work related.”

“It’s not this time,” Buck assures him. “I just have a long lunch today and wanted to see if you wanted to get something to eat?”

“Me?” Eddie questions, and then mentally slaps himself.

“Yeah _ you _. My best friend who I don’t see near as much of as I like.”

“We should get dinner,” Eddie blurts out.

Buck raises an eyebrow, “It’s lunchtime.”

“I don’t mean right now,” Eddie says. “I mean tonight. Or tomorrow. Whenever you’re free.”

“I’m free tonight,” Buck says. He’s looking at him, face unreadable. “Will anyone else be joining us at this dinner?”

Eddie shakes his head. He feels like he can’t breathe but he pushes through. “No. No. It’s just us. If that’s okay.”

Buck smiles, “Of course it is. It’s been a long time since the two of us hung out. The bros are back together again.”

He knocks shoulders with Eddie, and Eddie mentally groans. He forces a smile, even as his heart is breaking. “Yeah man. It’ll be great.”

He can’t believe he actually got up the damn nerve to ask Buck out and did such a poor job of it that Buck thinks it’s just them hanging out as friends. He’s the worst at this. He’s hopeless.

“Are you okay?” Buck asks him.

“Yeah of course. I just haven’t been sleeping much,” Eddie admits. 

“Christopher still having nightmares?” Buck asks. Eddie nods, and Buck frowns. “Do you want me to come over tonight after dinner?”

“I think Chris would like that,” Eddie says. “He keeps talking about wanting to see his Buck.”

“It’s been two days,” Buck laughs.

“Two days too long for him apparently,” Eddie says. _ And for me _.

“Well then I will definitely come over,” Buck says. He looks towards the stairs and smiles. “Is Bobby making lasagna?”

“He is,” Eddie says. “You just want to join us here for lunch?”

“Might as well. After all, I get you all to myself for dinner.” 

He winks and heads towards the stairs, leaving Eddie standing frozen and more confused than he was before. First Buck says they’re hanging out as bros and then he talks about getting Eddie all to himself and winks. He fucking _ winks _. What is Eddie supposed to do with that?

He pushes the thought down as he joins the others upstairs. He ignores the knowing looks he gets from Hen, Chimney, and Bobby as he falls into his usual seat beside Buck, and lets himself get swept up in the conversation. Even as his thoughts drift to what’s in store for him at dinner tonight.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My brain has just decided to ignore certain parts of canon when writing this. I don't want that pain here.  
Thanks for reading! I’d love to know what you think of the chapter. 💜  
[My tumblr](http://tabbytabbytabby.tumblr.com/)


	5. Chapter 5

The shirt goes flying across the room, joining the steadily growing pile of discarded shirts on Eddie's floor. There's hasn't necessarily been anything wrong with them, but none of them have felt right to him. 

And now he's running out of time because he's supposed to meet Buck at the restaurant in less than half an hour. 

Shit. 

Eddie grabs a purple button down from the hanger and slips it on. He buttons it up and exams himself in the mirror. He likes it. It's one of his favorite shirts. In fact, it's one that Buck got him for Christmas last year saying it was a good color for him. 

But was it saying too much wearing it to their dinner? Or maybe it would help get across what Eddie wanted? 

Sighing, Eddie brings a hand up, about to run a hand through his hair but stops himself. He doesn't want to mess it up. 

A knock on his door has him turning. "Come in."

The door opens a second later to reveal Carla. She leans against the door and shakes her head. "I guess I got here just in time before you got eaten by your pile of clothes."

Eddie turns to fully face her, "I just can't make up my mind on what to wear. Is this too much?"

She eyes him for a moment, gesturing with her hand for him to turn. Once he's done, she smirks. "You look great, Eddie. If that doesn't get Buck on his knees, I don't know what will."

Eddie inhales sharply, choking on air. "What?"

She smirks, "I said what I said. Now get out of here. You don't want to keep that boy waiting." Eddie grabs his wallet and starts to leave only for her to stop him on his way by. "Hold on a second." Eddie waits as she rolls up his sleeves and unbuttons his shirt to the third button, before stepping back. "Now you're perfect."

Eddie smiles, "Thanks Carla."

He’s nervous the whole drive to the restaurant. He tells himself to calm down. It’s Buck. Sure, he might be in love with him and not sure how to handle those feelings, but that doesn’t mean he needs to be weird about it. He needs to relax and play it cool. 

He’s just calmed himself down when Buck walks up and sets his heart racing again, because he looks _good_. He’s wearing a pale pink shirt with the sleeves rolled up just like Eddie’s. It’s snug against him, and Eddie’s sure he has to know exactly what he’s doing. Especially with the damn jeans he has on. Eddie hates his life right now.

“Hey,” Buck calls when he sees him. His steps falter just a bit, and Eddie knows he can’t be hallucinating Buck’s eyes moving slowly across his body as he takes him in. He makes a mental note to thank Carla later. 

“Hey,” Eddie says, stepping closer. He hesitates, not sure what to do next. The confusion about whether this is a date or just a normal dinner still lingers. “You look good.”

“Thanks. So do you.” Buck’s eyes drift again before he averts his gaze, his cheeks turning a light shade of pink to match his shirt. Interesting. “Should we go in?”

“Unless you just want to hang out on the sidewalk all night,” Eddie jokes.

Buck rolls his eyes, “Asshole.”

Just like that, the awkwardness lessens a bit. He claps Buck on the shoulder and guides him towards the door. “Let’s eat.”

They fall into easy conversation as they order their meals and wait for the food to arrive. Eddie’s even able to ignore the way the waitress seems to be flirting with Buck at any opportunity. Especially since Buck hardly notices. He’ll smile kindly when he addresses her, but his eyes always come back to Eddie. Something that gives him hope.

“So uhh a lawyer wanted to talk to me,” Buck says, taking a sip of his drink. Water, because he doesn’t want to risk interfering with his meds. 

Eddie frowns, “About what?”

“Suing the department,” Buck says. For the first time that night he looks uneasy. 

Eddie slowly lowers his glass, “Excuse me? He wants you to what?”

Buck sighs, “I’m not doing it, okay? I told him that you guys are all heroes and my family, and exactly where he could shove that lawsuit.”

“I bet he took that well,” Eddie says. “Wait, was that the lawyer from the drill?” Buck nods. “What a sleaze. He doesn’t actually care about those people. He’s just after money.”

“I know,” Buck says. “I wish there was a way to stop him.”

“You did pretty good by turning him down,” Eddie says. “Hopefully more people will do the same.”

“Yeah,” Buck says. He’s still frowning and Eddie hates it.

He reaches across the table and covers Buck’s hand with his own before he can stop himself. To his surprise, Buck turns his hand over and squeezes Eddie’s. “I just want my job back, Eddie. I know I said I’d be patient, but it’s hard not being with you guys.”

“You will be soon enough,” Eddie tells him, brushing his thumb along Buck’s knuckles. “You’ve been doing great and really taking your recovery seriously. You’ll be off the blood thinners soon and back with us in no time. Until then, you do still have the team. And me, and Chris.”

Buck smiles, “I don’t know what I’d do without you.”

Their eyes meet and Eddie swallows, his nerves kicking back into action. He’s aware of his hand still holding Buck’s but Buck makes no move to pull away, and Eddie’s not about to. 

“So tonight,” Buck says. “When you wanted it to be the two of us did you mean…?”

He trails off, but Eddie knows what he’s asking. Just what they’re doing here. There’s a glimmer of hope in his eyes that makes Eddie want to tell the truth. To admit to him he wanted this to be a date. He opens his mouth, preparing to say the words, when he finds a plate being slammed down in front of him. 

He jumps and looks up at the glaring waitress. She sets Buck’s plate down a little bit gentler, but her eyes are still stony. “Is there anything else?” she asks.

Buck smiles, but there’s an edge to it there wasn’t before. He pointedly squeezes Eddie’s hand. “No thanks. My boyfriend and I are good.”

She narrows her eyes for a moment before throwing her hair over her shoulder and walking away. Eddie tries not to overthink things. Sure, Buck had said boyfriend, but he was probably just trying to get her to back off. 

“Have I told you amazing you are?” Eddie asks. He reluctantly pulls his hand back so he can unroll his silverware from his napkin. He doesn’t miss the slight pout on Buck’s face before he recovers and does the same.

“Not lately,” Buck says.

“Well you are,” Eddie says. “Beyond amazing. Not just for that… but in general.”

That gets a smile out of Buck, “Thanks Eddie. You’re pretty amazing yourself.”

Eddie ducks his head as he smiles, focusing on cutting his steak to give himself something distract himself so he doesn’t declare his love for Buck here and now. “Thanks.”

The rest of the meal is spent having quiet conversation, mostly about Christopher. Eddie also tells him about how he tracked down the woman that helped Christopher and invited her to dinner with all of them. Buck looks surprised at first, but happy, saying he’d been wanting to thank her. 

Soon dinner is over and they’re once again standing outside the restaurant. Eddie looks around, just noticing that Buck’s car isn’t here. “Did you not drive?”

Buck shakes his head, “Nah, I took an Uber. I figured since we’re going back to your place it made sense to ride together there. If that’s okay.”

“Of course it’s okay,” Eddie says. 

Eddie’s a different kind of nervous the whole drive back to his house. He can feel Buck’s gaze on him through most of the drive, and wonders what he must be seeing. Can he tell that Eddie is nervous? Does he understand why? 

They both take their time getting out of the car and walking up the sidewalk. Now that he’s able to focus, Eddie can see that he might not be the only one that’s nervous. Eddie stops outside the door. He knows they could easily just go inside and end the night. Go back to the way things were, and Eddie would have to figure out another way to admit his feelings. But he’s tired. He’s tired of pretending. And Buck is standing here in front of him, watching Eddie expectantly. Waiting. He’s tired of holding back.

The air feels like it's buzzing with a nervous energy as he steps closer to Buck, Buck’s eyes watching him as he approaches. "Buck."

He's not sure what he plans to say. It's hard to think right now. He just needs to be closer. He stops when they're chest to chest, when can almost feel each breath Buck takes. He brings his hand up to Buck's face, letting his fingers trail across the skin of his cheek, up to his birthmark. Buck's eyelids flutter, "Eddie."

It's said so quietly, but the sound of his name on Buck's lips rings loudly in his ears. He's heard it so many times before, but this feels different. His hand settles on Buck's cheek and he brings their foreheads together. He can feel the warmth Buck's hands through the thin material of his shirt as one rests on his hip, the other on his chest, slowly trailing up to his neck. They light a fire within him as they go. The desire to be closer, to finally allow himself to go after what he’s been wanting, getting harder to ignore.

If Eddie was having trouble before, it's definitely gotten worse now. His skin is thrumming, the anticipation between them almost palpable. 

He leans in, their noses brushing. He can feel Buck's breath on lips. God he's so close to finally having what he wants. 

"Evan," he murmurs, brushing his thumb along his cheekbone. "I…"

"Me too," Buck says.

Eddie's not sure what they've agreed on. Hell, he doesn't know what he planned to say. It doesn't matter. They're on the same page now. Buck is real and warm and solid in his arms. His lips so close he can almost taste them. All he has to do is tilt his head and move in a little closer. Eddie holds his breath, feeling the faintest touch of Buck's lips. 

They both wince when bright light suddenly enters their vision. They don't pull back, both too stunned by the sudden intrusion. 

Eddie turns his head to see Carla standing there, mouth open in shock. "Oh my."

"Carla," Eddie says. "Everything alright?"

"Yeah I'm so sorry for… interrupting. I just told Christopher I thought I saw Buck with you, and he got a little impatient."

Buck chuckles and pulls back, looking around Carla. Eddie feels the loss instantly. Carla grimaces and leans in closer, keeping her voice barely above a whisper. "I really am sorry, Eddie, for ruining the moment."

Eddie smiles and squeezes her shoulder as he moves inside the house after Buck. "It's okay. I know how insistent Chris can be when he wants his Buck."

At this he looks down at Christopher, who grins. He hugs Buck around the neck. "I love my Buck."

"I love you," Buck says, kissing the side of his head. "And guess what?"

"What?"

"Tonight I get to read you your bedtime story," Buck says. He stands up, scooping a laughing Christopher into his arms. 

Eddie smiles as he watches them head down the hall. It's hard to be disappointed about the broken moment when he gets to see them together like that. 

"Please tell me you at least kissed him," Carla says. 

Eddie shakes his head and walks into the kitchen. He leans against the counter. "No. We were so close. It seemed like he wanted to. I don't know."

Carla swats his shoulder, "Of course he wanted to. That boy is crazy about you. And Christopher. So you better not let that little interruption stop you from making your move."

Eddie looks down the hall. He can see Buck sitting on Christopher's bed as he reads to him. Buck's eyes lift and meet his. He smiles before turning back to the book. 

"I won't," Eddie says. 

Carla smiles and pats his cheek, "Good. And good luck. Not that you need it. Ooh boy the tension that's been coming off you two." She laughs as she heads to the door, "Let me know if you need me to watch him overnight sometime so you can have some alone time."

Eddie shakes his head, but he's smiling. If things work out the way he wants them to, he might have to take her up on that. "Thank you, Carla. I'll see you tomorrow."

Eddie walks down the hall, reaching Christopher's room just as Buck's leaving. "Was that Carla leaving?" Eddie nods. Buck looks back into Christopher's room before looking back at Eddie. "Christopher said we wants us to sleep in your bed."

Eddie coughs, "What?"

"The three of us," Buck clarifies, looking amused. "He thinks it might help with the nightmares."

"Are you okay with that?"

Buck smiles, "Of course. I should still have some clothes here to sleep in, right?"

Eddie nods, "Yeah. They're in your drawer like always."

Eddie doesn't know when it became his drawer. Maybe when he started sleeping here more often and it just made sense for him to keep clothes here. And a toothbrush. He's been slowly integrating himself into their lives, and Eddie loves it. 

Buck squeezes his shoulder, his hand lingering as his thumb brushes across his collarbone. Eddie swallows and Buck's eyes track the movement. He steps closer and Eddie does the same. 

"Eddie…"

"Dad? Buck?"

For the second time that night they find themselves interrupted. Buck just smiles and kisses his cheek. "To be continued."

He walks down the hall to Eddie's room. Eddie watches him for a moment as he goes right to his drawer and searches through his clothes. He pulls out a pair of sweats and then closes the drawer. He hesitates a moment before opening the drawer with Eddie's t-shirts and pulling one out. 

Eddie expects him to shut the door or go to the bathroom to change. Instead he strips his shirt off and tosses it into Eddie's hamper. He pulls Eddie's shirt over his head and meets his gaze. Eddie doesn't try to pretend he wasn't looking. He can’t deny the sight of Buck in one of his shirts gets to him. Buck grins at him and grabs the sweats. One hand is on the button of his jeans. He pops it open and Eddie's eyes widen. He still can't bring himself to look away. 

His feet start bringing him forward before he can think about what he's doing.

"Dad?" Christopher calls.

Eddie stills in the middle of the hall. "Be right there, buddy." Buck is standing at the door now, a knowing smirk plastered on his face. "You're the worst."

Buck winks and closes the door. Eddie stands there a few more seconds, taking some steadying breaths as he tries to calm his racing heart. Buck was going to be the death of him. If he had any doubt before about what Buck might feel for him, it’s all but gone now. There’s no way he’s reading this wrong.

He allows himself a moment to think about Buck, before he pulls himself together and goes to Christopher. "Hey buddy. Did you need something?"

"Is Buck staying?" Christopher asks. 

"Yeah he's just gone to change for bed," Eddie tells him. "Then we'll go to my room."

"Okay," Christopher says. "But I meant staying with us forever."

Eddie doesn't know how to answer that. He knows forever isn't guaranteed for any of them. But God the thought of spending forever with Buck and Christopher is a tempting one. 

"I don't know,” Eddie says. "But we hope he stays for a long time, don't we?"

Christopher nods, "Yeah."

Eddie smiles and runs a hand through his hair, "I love you."

"Love you too, Dad."

A throat clears at the door and Eddie turns to see Buck standing there. The cockiness from before is gone, replaced with something softer. “You can go get changed if you need to.”

Eddie looks down, realizing he is still in his clothes from the date. He nods and gets to his feet. “Be right back, bud.”

“Okay Dad.”

As Eddie walks by Buck to leave the room, Buck trails a hand down his arm and smiles. “I really do like you in this shirt.”

Eddie leans in and whispers in his ear, “Not as much as I like seeing you in mine.”

He leaves a gaping Buck standing in the doorway, feeling proud of getting the upper hand. Buck can tease him all he wants, Eddie is more than capable of doing the same. Especially now that he knows Buck wants him too.

He changes quickly and then goes back to Christopher’s room to grab him. Except as soon as Buck sees him, he lifts him into his arms. Christopher grins and wraps his arms around his neck. “I asked Buck to carry me, Dad.”

“Well then, lead the way,” Eddie says, gesturing down for them to go in front of them. He ruffles Christopher’s hair as they pass, earning a giggle from him.

He follows close behind, and stands at the door, watching as Buck puts Christopher in the bed. He brushes the hair back from his face and kisses the tip of his nose, then his forehead. Christopher does the same to Buck, and Eddie… God Eddie doesn’t think he could be more in love with either of them than he is in this moment.

Sure, he wants Buck. He knows that. But this? Seeing the way he is with Christopher, how much they love and care for each other, how good he is with him, that’s what he craves. Anything physical would be a bonus. He just wants Buck around and part of their lives. He wants a _life_ with him, with all the ups and downs. That should be terrifying, but it’s not. He trusts Buck, more than anything. He’s trusted him with Christopher, and Buck knows that. Now he just has to show him that he trusts him with his heart too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! I’d love to know what you think of the chapter. 💜  
[My tumblr](http://tabbytabbytabby.tumblr.com/)


	6. Chapter 6

When Eddie wakes up, he's alone. He can't figure out why it feels wrong until he remembers last night. How he'd slept between Buck and Christopher, both of them wrapped around him. It's the best night's sleep he's had in a while. 

So where the hell are Buck and Christopher?

He doesn't have long to worry before the smell of food hits him. The smell of slightly burnt food. Eddie gets out of bed and opens his door. He can see Buck at the stove while Christopher sits at the table. 

"What's going on here?" Eddie asks as he walks in the room. 

"Buck's making us breakfast." He beckons Eddie forward. "He's burning the pancakes. Maybe you should cook."

"Hey I'm doing my best here," Buck says. There's an adorable pout on his lips. 

Eddie smiles and steps around the corner towards him. He stops next to him and leans in, placing a kiss to his cheek. "Morning."

Buck smiles and leans his head against Eddie's. "It definitely is a good one."

Eddie wants nothing more than to lean in and kiss him. But he doesn't. He knows better than to do that with Christopher right here. If only because he doesn't know if he'd be able to keep it chaste. Not with the lingering tension and desire between them. 

"Do you need any help?" Eddie asks. 

Buck shrugs, "I am failing at the pancakes. But only because this pan cooks them super fast."

"It does," Eddie says. "That's why we use this one." He bends down and starts sorting through his pans. He hears a sharp intake of breath from Buck and turns his head, to find Buck's gaze fixated firmly on his ass. Smirking to himself, Eddie bends over further, pleased and a little turned on by the whine Buck gives. 

"Eddie come on, you're not being fair."

Eddie stands with the pan and turns to face Buck, his grace the picture of innocence. "I don't know what you're talking about."

"You do," Buck says, stepping into his space. He reaches down, brushing his fingers along Eddie's hand before taking the pan from him. "Alright, show me how to make Christopher edible pancakes."

Eddie makes a few on his own before letting Buck take over. They don't burn this time. When Buck realizes this he gets one of Eddie's favorite giddy smiles on his face. Eddie once again has to fight down the desire to kiss him. 

They're going to have to talk about this. Eddie knows that. But it's not a conversation he wants to have in front of Christopher. 

"You know what we're doing today?" Eddie asks.

"What?" Christopher questions. 

"We're going to see Gabriela," Eddie tells him. "That nice lady that helped you during the tsunami."

Christopher smiles, "Really?"

Eddie nods, "Yeah. I thought it might be nice to thank her. Maybe with a picnic in the park. What do you think?"

"Yeah!"

"Just let me know when and I'll get out of your hair," Buck says. 

Eddie frowns and looks over at him, taking in his tense posture. "I was hoping you'd come, actually. Unless you really don't want to."

"Please come," Christopher says. "I want her to meet my Buck."

Buck smiles and ruffles his hair, "Well I can't say no to that."

"Great," Eddie says. "Because you're watching him while I go get what we need for the picnic."

"Hear that?" Buck says, grinning down at Christopher. "You're stuck with me."

"As long as you don't burn anymore pancakes," Christopher tells him. 

Buck gasps and puts a hand over his heart. "It wasn't me! It was the pan. Right Eddie?"

Eddie reaches over and pats his hand, "Sure it was, babe."

Eddie blinks. Buck blinks. Christopher either doesn't notice or care about the slip. "You still burnt pancakes."

The moment breaks just as quickly as it came.

"I made them perfectly after we switched pans!" Buck argues. 

"After I showed you," Eddie says. His gaze falls down to some of the pancakes still left on the plate between them. He gives Buck a teasing grin as he picks up a wonky looking one. "Is this really perfect?"

Buck takes the pancake from him and bites into it angrily, "It _tastes_ perfect. There's more important things than just looks, Eddie."

Eddie smiles, looking between Christopher and Buck. They're still talking about pancakes, oblivious to Eddie's distraction. Eddie knows Buck was just talking about the pancakes, and not anything bigger than that, but Eddie thinks bigger. He thinks about how even though Buck is attractive, there is so much more that Eddie loves about him than his looks. 

One of the biggest ones being the little boy sitting next to him. Christopher thinks the world of Buck, and watching them it's so obvious Buck feels the same. 

Eddie startles when a pancake flops against his cheek. Buck raises an eyebrow and holds the pancake in front of his face. "Try it and tell me that's not perfect."

Right now Eddie doesn't think he could deny Buck anything. Even if it meant lying about the damn pancake. He knows he won't have to. He's had one of Buck's pancakes and they were good. 

He doesn't take the pancake from Buck like he's probably expecting. Instead he leans in and takes a bite of it while it's still in Buck's hand. He chews slowly, his eyes not leaving Buck's. The pancake flops to the table but neither one move to grab it.

"Well?" Buck asks.

His hand still hangs in the air between them, so Eddie leans his cheek against it, smiling. "Perfect."

They stare at each other for a moment, Buck's fingers brushing across Eddie's skin. He's looking at him with that same look of awe he wore when Eddie told him he trusted him. 

"Perfect," Buck whispers. 

Eddie turns his head, kissing Buck's fingers. 

"Are you still talking about pancakes?" Christopher asks them.

Eddie reluctantly pulls back and turns to Christopher, "Of course we're talking about pancakes, bud."

“If you say so,” Christopher says. “When are we going to the park?”

“In a few hours,” Eddie says. “Gabriela is meeting us there at noon. It’s not even nine yet.”

“So I can go play?”

“Sure, buddy. Go play in your room. I’ll come see you before I leave for the store.”

“Okay Dad. Love you.”

Eddie leans across the table and kisses his head with a smile, “Love you too.”

Eddie and Buck clean up the kitchen in silence. It’s not uncomfortable, but Eddie admits he was expecting something more for their first real time alone together since the night before. But Buck seems off. Tenser. He has ever since Eddie brought up Gabriela.

“Everything okay?” Eddie asks him.

Buck shrugs, “Sure. Why wouldn’t it be?”

“I don’t know,” Eddie says. “It just seems like something is bothering you.” 

“I’m fine.”

Eddie frowns, watching as Buck aggressively dries a plate. “If you don’t want to go with us to meet Gabriela, you don’t have to.”

“I told Christopher I would,” Buck sighs, putting the plate down. He turns around, leaning back against the counter. “It’s not that I don’t want to go. It’s just… It brought it all back, I guess. Losing him. How fucking terrified I was as I searched for him. If she hadn’t found him…”

“But she did,” Eddie says. He moves to stand in front of Buck, putting his hands on his shoulders. “Buck, you can’t keep letting the guilt eat away at you like this. You did everything you could for him. And don’t say it wasn’t enough. It was. You kept him safe. Yes, something terrible happened, but he came back to me. To us. We owe it to this woman to thank her for that, but if it’s too hard for you to be there, I understand.”

Buck leans his head against Eddie’s and closes his eyes, taking a few deep breaths. Eddie waits patiently as he gathers himself. “I’ll come,” Buck whispers. He opens his blue eyes and looks at Eddie. Eddie has to fight not to get lost in them, especially with Buck so close. “I think I need this. With you there, I’ll be okay.”

“I’ll always be there,” Eddie says.

Buck smiles, “I know.” Eddie returns the smile. One of his hands moves from Buck’s shoulder to his neck, brushing across the skin there, causing Buck to shiver. “Eddie.”

When Eddie’s phone rings he wants nothing more than to grab it and toss it out the window. “Damn it,” he mutters, pulling back to grab the offending device. “Why does this keep happening?”

He can’t be too angry when he sees it’s Gabriela calling. He swipes his phone to answer the call and brings it to his ear. “Gabriela, hey.”

“Hi Eddie,” Gabriela says. “I hope I didn’t catch you at a bad time.”

“No no,” Eddie says, looking at Buck, who’s smirking. He trails his hand across Eddie’s chest and Eddie sucks in a breath. “No,” Eddie says again, louder than before. “You’re fine. Umm…” Eddie internally curses when Buck leans in, kissing his neck. “Buck,” he hisses in warning.

“Buck’s there?” Gabriela asks. “Is he coming today?”

“Not the way I want to,” Buck mutters.

Eddie breathes in too sharply at his words and is hit by a coughing fit. He glares at Buck, who’s grinning at him. “You’re a menace.” To Gabriela he says, “I’m so sorry. Buck is supposed to come to lunch with us. If he’s still alive by then.”

Gabriela chuckles, “I see. Well if you could hold off on killing him until after lunch, I would like to meet him.”

“I’ll do my best,” Eddie says. “Is there something you needed?”

“Oh right,” she says. “I wanted to know if you needed me to bring anything.”

“I have lunch covered,” Eddie says. They’d already discussed Gabriele’s allergies and general foods she avoids back when Eddie started planning the meal. “Maybe some dessert?”

“I can do that,” Gabriela says. “I did just get ingredients for a strawberry pie.”

“Sounds amazing,” Eddie tells her.

Buck’s still there, standing a few feet away, watching him intently. Eddie wants nothing more than to hang up the phone and close the space between them and kiss him senseless. But he holds himself back. He chats with Gabriela for another minute or so before hanging up.

“You really are a menace,” Eddie says as soon as he hangs up the phone.

Buck chuckles and kisses his cheek, “But you love it.”

Eddie can’t even pretend to be mad, “I do.” Eddie glances at the clock and sighs, “I should get Chris ready so I can get to the store and get everything.”

“Need me to help with anything?” Buck asks.

“If you wouldn’t mind putting the dishes away?”

Buck smiles, “Sure.”

Eddie leaves him in the kitchen and goes down the hall to Christopher’s room. He’s playing on the floor with his fire truck. It’s one that Buck gave him for his birthday a few months ago, and quickly became his favorite. 

“Alright bud,” Eddie says, kneeling down in front of him. “Time to get ready.”

It doesn’t take long. They’re both used to the routine by now. Soon he’s scooping Christopher up in his arms and walking back towards the living room with him.

“I can walk Dad,” Christopher reminds him.

“I know. I just like holding you,” Eddie says, placing a series of kisses across his face. “Because I love you so much.”

Christopher laughs and pats his cheek, “I love you too, Dad.”

Eddie sits him down on the couch, “Alright, you play here while I talk to Buck.”

“Okay.”

Buck’s still in the kitchen when he walks in. All the dishes are put away, and Buck is standing at the island, a piece of paper in front of him. He looks up when Eddie enters and smiles, holding the paper out to him. “Here.”

“What’s this?” Eddie asks, taking the paper from Buck.

“It’s a list of things you’re out of, or will be soon,” Buck says.

Eddie looks from the list up at Buck, “You know we need all of this?”

Buck runs a hand along the back of his neck, “Yeah. I mean, I’m here enough. I know what you guys eat and stuff. So I just… was that weird? Now I feel like that was weird.”

Eddie kisses his cheek, brushing across the spot with his thumb when he pulls back. “It’s not weird. I like that you know all this stuff. Not just what groceries we need, but other things too.”

Buck relaxes at that, “I like knowing it.” He grimaces. “Which definitely sounded weird.”

Eddie laughs, “Buck, you’re fine.”

“No, you should go,” Buck says, gently pushing him away. He’s smiling, at least “Before I make a bigger ass of myself.”

Eddie would argue, but he’s already running behind. So he sighs and steps back. “Okay. Christopher’s bag is packed and ready to go if you want to take him to the park early and play a bit. Which I think he would like. And I can meet you there with lunch when it’s ready.”

“Sounds good,” Buck says. “Doesn’t it buddy?”

“Yeah!” Christopher says, grinning up at them from his place on the couch. “I like going to the park with Buck.”

“Only with Buck?” Eddie questions.

Christopher tilts his head and smiles, “No. I like going with Hen too.”

“What about me?” Eddie asks, gently tickling his sides and drawing a laugh from him. “Your Dad.”

“I like going with you too,” Christopher says. “But I like going with you and Buck together, best.”

“Yeah I like it when we all go together too,” Eddie says.

He meets Buck’s eyes and they share a small smile. This is what he loves. Having the three of them here together. He hates that he has to leave, but he doesn’t they’re not going to be getting lunch. He says his goodbyes for them, promising to call when he’s done and on his way to the park, and then heads to his car. 

He tries to hurry at the store. It’s easier since it’s just him and he can rush things. Not that he minds when Christopher comes. He likes letting him have input in his food. It makes it fun. But right now he needs to get through this as quickly as possible.

“No little guy today?” his favorite cashier, Mandy, asks as he starts loading his groceries onto the checkout counter.

“Nah, he’s with my…” Eddie hesitates a moment, before deciding the hell with it. They’re close enough. “My boyfriend. We’re all having a picnic at the park.”

“Oh how sweet,” Mandy says. “Is the cute blond that’s sometimes with you guys? Buck?”

Eddie nods, “Yeah that’s him.”

“He’s nice,” Mandy says. “And cute. I can tell Chris adores him from the way they are when he brings him in.”

“Yeah they’ve really gotten close,” Eddie says. He wonders just how obvious they’ve been. No one seems the least bit surprised that Buck and Eddie would want to date. Except for the two of them apparently. 

Eddie pays for his groceries and then heads home to put them away. He makes lunch, which is basically a bunch of finger foods they can easily eat at a picnic without worrying about a big mess or them going bad. Once he’s done it’s nearing 11:30. He really needs to get to the park. He barely remembers to grab a blanket for them to sit on if they need it, along with the basket and his phone, before heading out the door. 

He calls Buck on his way, but he doesn’t answer. Eddie’s not worried. He knows he’s probably just busy with Christopher. Sure enough, when he parks the car he sees them both over by the swings. Christopher is laughing as Buck pushes him. 

“Dad!” he calls as soon as he spots Eddie. “Look how high I can go!”

“That’s awesome buddy,” Eddie says. He puts the basket and blanket down on an empty table before walking to join them. He steps up next to Buck and doesn’t think before leaning in and kissing his cheek. “Having fun?”

Buck smiles, “Yeah. We spent a lot of time over on the fire truck, which he pretended to be racing off to save lives. We went down the slide a few times, and now here we are.”

“Sounds like you’ve had a productive few hours,” Eddie says. 

“Eddie?” he turns at the sound of his name being called to see Gabriela standing a few feet away.

Eddie smiles and walks over to join her, “Hey, you made it.”

She nods and returns his smile, “I did. I’m sorry if I’m late.”

“No worries,” Eddie says. “I just got here a few minutes ago.” He turns towards the swings. “Chris, Buck. Come eat.”

“Oh,” Gabriela says, just now noticing Buck. “He is a handsome one when he’s not covered in blood.”

Eddie laughs, “Yeah he is.”

“Who’s what?” Buck asks.

“Nothing,” Eddie says. “Buck, this is Gabriela.”

Buck holds out his hand with a smile, “It’s nice to finally meet you.”

“You too,” Gabriela says. “I feel like I know you already with the way Christopher talked about you. He’s very fond of you.”

“Feeling’s mutual,” Buck says, ruffling Christopher’s hair. “Ready to eat, Chris?”

Christopher nods, “I’m starving.”

“Well then it’s a good thing I brought your favorite,” Eddie says. He opens the basket and pulls out the plate of sandwiches he’d made. “Chicken salad.” 

“Yay!”

“I’ve never seen a kid that excited about chicken salad,” Buck says. He takes the sandwich when Eddie offers the plate to him, and hesitates at the end of the table. Christopher is sitting on one side, and Eddie on the other. 

Eddie makes up his mind for him, and pulls him down next to him. “It’s because I make the best chicken salad.”

“It has a secret ingredient,” Christopher says.

“Oh yeah?” Buck asks, looking between them. “What is it?”

“If I told you it wouldn’t be a secret,” Eddie says.

Christopher gestures for Buck to lean towards him and whispers in his ear. Eddie doesn’t hear what he says, but Buck smiles as he pulls back. “Well then, this chicken salad is extra special.”

“It is delicious,” Gabriela says. 

They eat their lunch, having a casual conversation. Buck’s relatively relaxed next to him, which is a relief. Eddie had been worried this would be hard on him. If it is, he’s not showing it. When they’re done, Buck asks to talk to Gabriela alone. She doesn’t seem surprised. She was probably expecting it. 

They move a few feet away. Eddie tries not to listen or watch them, but his eyes, as usual, are drawn to Buck.

“Thank you,” Buck says, smiling down at Gabriela. Eddie’s surprised to see tears in his eyes. “Thank you for looking after him when I…” Buck cuts off, looking down at his hands. “When I wasn’t there.”

“I know you wanted to be,” Gabriela says. “The way that boy talked about you. He adores you.”

“The feeling is mutual,” Buck says, turning his head to where Christopher is playing with his fire truck at the table.

“On both counts?” Gabriela asks.

Eddie has to look away, not wanting to be caught listening. He can feel Buck’s eyes on him but he doesn’t look. He can’t. He barely catches Buck’s quiet, “yeah” before he’s clearing his throat and changing the subject. 

“So you own a bakery?”

“I do,” Gabriela says. “It was my mothers. She’s the one that taught me to bake. When she got sick, I took over for her.”

“We’ll have to come by sometime,” Eddie says. “If you have cake, you’ve already won over these two.”

Gabriela laughs, “I do make cakes. They happen to be my specialty, besides pie.”

“This pie was amazing,” Buck says. 

“It was,” Christopher says. “Strawberries are my favorite.”

“I remember you mentioning that,” Gabriela says, smiling at him. “Wait until you try my strawberry cake.”

Christopher’s eyes widen, “Strawberry _cake_?” 

“Yes, it’s one of my most popular,” she says. “I put real strawberries in it.”

Buck groans, “Now I want cake.”

“How could you possibly still be hungry after everything you just ate?” Eddie asks him.

“I didn’t say I was hungry,” Buck says. “I just want cake.”

Eddie shakes his head, a fond smile on his lips. The rest of the afternoon passes much the same. Gabriela leaves around two, but promises to keep in touch, especially since she owes Christopher cake. Eddie expects them all to go back to his place. So he’s surprised when Buck hesitates outside his car as Eddie gets Christopher buckled in. 

“You coming over?” Eddie asks, stepping closer. 

Buck shakes his head, “I wish. I have plans with Maddie tonight. It’s been a while since we hung out, and I don’t want to bail on her.”

“Hey, I get it,” Eddie says. He knows he doesn’t have a monopoly on Buck’s time, nor does he want one. That wouldn’t be fair. “Call me later?”

Buck nods, “Of course.”

He leans in, and for a moment Eddie thinks this is it. Buck’s going to kiss him. Instead, his lips brush his cheek. Eddie can feel his smile against his skin. “Until next time.”

He backs up, tossing his keys in his hands as he heads towards the driver’s side. Eddie watches him for a moment before heading to his car. 

“Buck’s not coming over?” Christopher asks.

“No sorry buddy,” Eddie says. “He has plans with Maddie.”

“It’s okay,” Christopher says. “He’ll be back, Dad.”

Buck pulls out of the parking lot and Eddie follows for a while, until Buck turns, heading towards Maddie’s house while Eddie keeps driving home.

He gets a text as soon as he gets inside the house, and smiles as he reads it. “Miss you already xoxo.”

* * *

Two days go by without Eddie being able to see Buck. They still talk on the phone and text, but it’s hard to make plans with them both working and then Buck spending time with Maddie after his shift, saying that he’s worried about her. He doesn’t explain why, and Eddie doesn’t push.

Eddie gets it. He does. But he still misses Buck like crazy. Even if it has only been two days. He can tell Christopher does too.

Which is why it’s such a relief when Eddie walks downstairs and sees Buck talking to Bobby. He doesn’t think before striding forward and pulling him in for a tight hug. Buck laughs and hugs him back. 

“Good to see you too, man.”

“I’ve missed you,” Eddie says, pulling back and giving him a sheepish smile. “It’s been too long.”

“It’s been two days,” Buck says. His faces softens and his squeezes Eddie’s arm. “But I missed you, too. I’m actually glad I caught you because I am free tonight after work.”

“Really?” Eddie asks, trying not to sound too hopeful.

Buck grins, “Yeah. Maybe I can stop by and grab a pizza and we can all have dinner?”

“Chris would love that,” Eddie tells him. “He’s missed you too.”

“I’ve missed him.”

“There’s a whole lot of missing going on here,” Chimney says. 

"Hey Diaz!" Lena calls. "Mind giving me a spot?"

Eddie nods, almost missing the confused pout on Buck's face. He smiles and squeezes his shoulder. "I'll see you later, alright."

"Yeah sure," Buck says, an edge of bitterness in his voice that has Eddie frowning. "Later."

"Buck?" Eddie questions. 

Buck just shakes his head, "You go. Don't want to keep her waiting, Diaz."

Eddie's frown deepens as his brow pinches in confusion. "You never call me that."

"You said you'd never respond to it," Buck reminds him. 

"I…" Eddie trails off, unsure what to say. He _had_ said that, but he'd been mostly joking. Buck apparently hadn't read it that way. 

"Diaz!" Lena calls again.

Eddie sighs and reluctantly turns away from Buck to look at her, "You should find someone else."

"Yeah he's busy," Buck says, a coldness in his tone Eddie hasn't heard before. 

Lena raises an eyebrow, then shrugs. "Got it."

Eddie turns back towards Buck to find him glaring. "Who the hell is that? You're replacing me."

"Of course not," Bobby assures him. "This is just temporary. You're spot is still here, Buck."

"Is it?" Buck questions, his voice rising. "Is it really? Because it damn well looks like you're replacing me."

"Buck, no one is replacing you," Bobby says, trying to calm Buck down. 

It doesn't work. 

"Oh yeah? Then what's that?" He points at where Bosko's name has been taped over his. "Because _that_ looks an awful lot like replacing me. She could have had any locker, but no. You gave her mine."

"Buck hey," Eddie says, resting a hand on his shoulder. "No one is replacing you. No one ever could. You'll always have a place here, okay?"

Buck nods, his shoulders slumping. He doesn't meet his eyes, "I should go."

"You don't have to," Eddie says, brushing his thumb along his collarbone. 

Buck takes a deep breath. "I really should. I've embarrassed myself enough."

"Buck… 

Eddie feels a sense of dread in his stomach, afraid that if he lets Buck leave here like this he might lose him. As irrational as the thought is, it’s there. And he just he can't let that happen.

"Please just stay," Eddie pleads. "Please."

Suddenly the bell goes off, alerting them to a call. Buck takes a step back, making himself smaller as he hunches in on himself. 

"You need to go," Buck says, still not meeting his gaze. 

Eddie knows he does but that fear is still there, digging into his chest like as white hot knife. "I'll call you later, okay?"

Buck nods, "Sure man."

Eddie turns, rushing over to grab his things before heading to the truck. He stops before getting in, looking back for buck. He's gone. 

“You didn’t tell me you were dating someone,” Lena says as they take their seats.

“We’re…” the ‘_not’_ is on the tip of his tongue, but it feels wrong. “It’s complicated.”

“Only because you’re making it complicated,” Hen says.

"Everything alright?" Bobby asks him. 

Eddie sighs, "I'm not sure. He was pretty upset."

"This could have been avoided if you'd just kiss him already" Hen says. 

"I tried," Eddie says. "We got interrupted. Three times."

"Well then try again," Hen says. "Let that poor kid know he's not losing you."

"I told him…"

"_Show _him," Hen says. "Then confess your undying love for him."

“This isn’t just about us,” Eddie reminds her.

“I know,” Hen says. “But it’s a big part of it.”

She’s not wrong. The only problem with that is getting Buck to talk to him. 

Eddie tries calling him a few times after he gets back from the scene. Each time the call goes straight to voicemail. He tells himself it's because Buck is working but he can't shake the feeling that something is wrong. He'd looked so dejected when he left. 

All Eddie wants to do is remind him how important he is, not just to the team but to him and Christopher. Which is hard to do when Buck is avoiding him. 

How is that just a few nights ago they were having dinner, and came so close to moving their relationship forward? How had things gotten so screwed up so quickly?

Eddie tries Buck again on his way home, hoping he can convince him to come by so they can talk. Once again he's met with Buck's voicemail. He doesn't leave a message, but hangs up, preparing to try again. 

His finger hovers over the send button as he parks his car. Then he sees the figure on his porch. He gets out, his heart beating heavily in his chest as he walks closer. 

It's hard to see his face clearly in the darkness but Eddie would know him anywhere. 

"Buck?"

"Eddie," Buck says, stepping into the light. He's frowning and his hands are shoved into the pockets of his jacket. "We need to talk."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a heads up that there's probably only going to be one or two more chapters, depending on where things go. Thanks for reading! I'd love to know what you think of the chapter! ♥  
[My tumblr](http://tabbytabbytabby.tumblr.com/)


	7. Chapter 7

"We need to talk."

Dread pools in Eddie's gut at the words. Nothing good has ever come from them. All he can hope is now is the exception. 

Buck isn't wrong. They do need to talk. Especially after how things were left between them earlier. 

"Okay," Eddie says, stepping up onto the porch. "Come on."

He moves to unlock the door and steps inside, Buck following behind him. 

"What's going on?" Eddie asks, dropping his keys and wallet into the bowl by the door and turning to face Buck. 

"I don't know," Buck says, running a hand through his hair, causing it to stand up. Eddie is torn between wanting to fix it and mess it up further. "I'm a mess, man. I know that. And this thing between us? It's been driving me crazy. God you have no idea how much I just want to fucking kiss you. All these almosts have been driving me crazy. But it's more than that. I just want to be with you and Christopher and make you happy."

"You already do," Eddie tells him, stepping closer. "You make us so happy Buck."

"You make me happy too," Buck says. "But I keep fucking up. Especially earlier. I got jealous and insecure, and I'm sorry. I made an ass of myself, I know that. So if you could just tell me off or…"

His words cut off with a noise of surprise when Eddie closes and distance between them and kisses him. It's a little unbalanced at first. Before Eddie's hand moves to his neck and tilts his head, changing the angle and deepening the kiss. 

Buck's hands move to his waist and his back, moving across his clothed skin, unable to settle. Eddie's blood is thrumming in his veins a chorus of '_ finally finally finally _' going off in his head. 

After so many months of pining and longing and almosts he has Buck here, in his arms, kissing him with a tenderness that has his head spinning. 

"I love you," he sighs against his lips, the words leaving him and going to where they belong. 

He's not afraid. Not with the way Buck is smiling, wide and happy. He gives a breathless laugh. "I love you, too."

"We should have done that a long time ago," Eddie says, running a hand down his back. 

"We should have," Buck agrees. "But I'm glad we have now."

"Me too," Eddie says. "If anyone else would have interrupted us I could have screamed."

Buck chuckles and leans in, nipping at his jaw. "Is Christopher coming home?"

Eddie shakes his head, "No. Abuela has him tonight."

He feels Buck smirking against his skin before he pulls back, meeting Eddie's gaze. His eyes are dark. "Good. Because I'm going to have you screaming for a much better reason."

Eddie's blood thrums as his breathing goes shallow. All the want and desperation come spilling out as he pulls Buck in and kisses him. He's going to make sure Buck keeps his word. 

* * *

Eddie wakes up the feel the warmth of the morning sun on his skin. Along with that is a weight across his chest and warm breath puffing against the skin of his neck. 

For a moment, he's confused. Then the events of the night before come back to him. Buck showing up at his house. Them talking. Eddie giving into months of pining and finally kissing Buck. Then everything that followed. 

Them making their way to Eddie's room and into his bed. Whispering their affection against the others skin as they moved together as if they were always meant to. As if their bodies were made to be joined together. For all Eddie cares they were. 

He opens his eyes and looks down at Buck's sleeping form. His hair is messy, cheeks pink with the warmth of sleep. Eddie can't resist bringing a hand up and trailing his fingers along the flushed skin. 

Buck stirs but doesn't open his eyes. He grumbles out an indecipherable complaint and snuggles further into Eddie's arms. 

Eddie smiles and kisses his head, then his cheek, his nose. He uses his fingers to tilt Buck's chin up so he can reach his lips. The kiss is slow and lingering. Buck smiles into it. 

"Good morning," Buck mumbles, finally opening his blue eyes to meet Eddie's. 

"Morning," Eddie says, running a hand down his bare back. 

"I could get used to waking up like this," Buck tells him.

"As you should," Eddie says. "Because I doubt I'm going to let you sleep anywhere else."

"Is that right?"

Eddie nods seriously. "It is. Looks like your stuck with me."

"Oh no, whatever will I do?" Buck teases. 

"Move in," Eddie shrugs. He only realizes how serious he is, how much he wants Buck to move in, after he says the words. 

"Really?"

"Really," Eddie says. "Both Christopher and I love having you here. And you're here almost every day as it is. And when you're not, we miss you like crazy."

Buck watches him for a moment, his eyes moving across his face. Finally, he nods. "Okay."

"Okay?"

"Sure," Buck says. "Waking up every day in your arms, knowing Christopher is just down the hall, sounds perfect."

It really does. 

"What about your apartment?" Eddie asks. 

"My lease will be up soon," Buck says. "I just won't renew it."

"Okay," Eddie says, unable to keep the smile off his face. "We're really doing this? Like you know what you're getting into, right? Because…"

Buck silences him with a kiss. "I know exactly what I'm getting into. I'm getting a life with you and your amazing son. One who I love like crazy. I couldn't think of anything I want more than that, Eddie."

Eddie feels himself starting to tear up, Buck's words reaching down and filling an emptiness inside him. He kisses him, unable to find words to tell Buck just how much this means to him. How much he means to him. From the way he kisses him, with his hand resting over Eddie's hard heart, Eddie has no doubt he knows. 

"I love you," Eddie murmurs against his lips. 

"I love you too," Buck whispers back. "Always."

Buck's phone rings and he sighs, resting his head against Eddie's. "One of these days we're just going to turn off our phones."

"Sounds nice," Eddie says. 

"I could just not answer it."

"It could be important."

Buck grumbles out a complaint but reaches for his phone. Buck stays hovering over Eddie as he brings it to his ear. 

"Hello? Yeah. Uh huh. Okay. Really?"

Eddie watches as his face shifts, first to concern, then to relief. 

"Okay. No that's great. Thank you."

He hangs up and throws his phone aside, looking down at Eddie, his face grim. "I have some bad news."

"What is it?"

"Well you're going to be seeing a lot more of me from now on."

Eddie has a feeling what that means, but he still needs to be sure. "Yeah?"

Buck nods, "Yeah. I didn't say anything before because I didn't want to jinx it but they took me off the blood thinners. That was Bobby. He said they've cleared me to come back to work at the 118."

Eddie grins and kisses him, "That's amazing!"

"I know," Buck says, a giddy smile on his face. "I was okay with light duty, but this is… this is where I belong."

"It is," Eddie agrees. "I'm so happy you'll be back. I know everyone else will be too. When do you come back?"

"Bobby said I could come in tomorrow," Buck says. "You're working tomorrow, right?"

"I am."

"Good. I want you to be there for my first day back."

"Christopher is going to be happy," Eddie says. 

"I know. I can't wait to tell him. When's he coming home?"

"Abuela said she'd bring him back before lunch," Eddie says. He looks over at the clock to see it's going on ten. "So in an hour or so."

"Good. So we have enough time to shower."

Eddie smirks, running his hand down Buck's back, his nails lightly scraping across the skin. "We do."

"I meant actually showering." Buck sighs when Eddie starts kissing his neck. "But this… yeah this is definitely better."

Eddie chuckles, "It doesn't take much to convince you."

"With as long as I've been wanting this? Not at all."

He pulls back and grins when Eddie pouts. He climbs from the bed and Eddie's mouth goes dry at the sight of Buck's naked form. Even though he spent hours appreciating Buck last night, it's different seeing him like this, with the sun shining in on him. 

Buck turns and heads for the door. Eddie stays frozen in the bed, staring at his retreating form. At least until Buck stops at the door and looks over his shoulder with a smirk. "Coming?"

Eddie's not sure he's ever scrambled out of bed so fast. He absolutely does not get tangled in the sheets and face plant on the floor in his hurry. He just stumbles a bit. It can happen to anyone. 

"Smooth," Buck teases. 

Eddie glares up at him as he gets to his feet, "Shut up and get in the shower."

"You say the sweetest things," Buck says. "Really, I'm feeling the romance here."

Eddie steps up to him, fitting himself against Buck's back. He wraps an arm around his waist and kisses his neck. "I'll show you plenty of romance later, but first I need you in the shower so we can have our fun before Chris gets home."

Buck sucks in a breath and nods, "Yeah. Yeah okay."

* * *

The doorbell rings and Eddie smiles. He goes to answer it, leaving Buck to finish getting dressed. "There he is!" Eddie says bending down so that he can hug Christopher. "I've missed you buddy."

"You just saw me yesterday," Christopher says. 

"But I can still miss you," Eddie says. "Didn't you miss me?"

"Yeah," Christopher says, smiling at him. 

Eddie steps back and lets him walk into the house and turns to his Abuela. "I can't stay," she tells him. "But he had breakfast."

Eddie hugs her and kisses her cheek, "Thank you."

"You don't have to thank me, it's my pleasure," she tells him. She smiles as she looks behind him. "Apparently you needed the alone time."

She pats his cheek and walks back towards her car. Eddie watches her for a moment before turning around at Christopher's excited yell. 

"Buck!" Christopher says, an enormous smile on his face as he walks towards him. 

Buck steps closer and wraps him up in a hug. "Hey buddy. How are you?"

"Good. I had pancakes."

"Pancakes? Oh man. I am jealous!" Buck says, taking a laughing Christopher into his arms and carrying him to the couch as Eddie leans against the wall, watching them. "I love pancakes." He sits down on the couch with Christopher in his lap. "Were they normal pancakes?"

Christopher shakes his head. "Chocolate chip."

"Chocolate chip? Those are my favorite." He looks over at Eddie. "Why don't you make me chocolate chip pancakes?"

Eddie pushes off the wall and walks over to join them on the couch. He sits down and throws his arm across Buck's shoulders. "I would if you asked."

"Every day?"

"Every day for the rest of our lives if that's what you want," Eddie says, smiling at him. He means it. 

Buck smiles and kisses his cheek, "Just give me the days. I don't need the pancakes."

"That was sappy," Eddie says, his smile fond.

"But you love it," Buck says. 

"I love you."

Buck smiles and leans in to kiss him. "I love you too."

"Finally."

They pull back, turning to look at Christopher. "Finally?" Eddie says. 

"You two have been needing to kiss," Christopher says. "That's what Maddie said. And Hen. And Bobby."

"What do you think?" Eddie asks. He knows Christopher loves Buck but his approval still matters. "You don't mind if I'm with Buck?"

"He makes you happy," Christopher says. "You love him, and I love him too."

"I love you," Buck says, brushing a hand through his hair. "And both you and your dad make me so happy. And I want you both to be just as happy."

"I'm always happy with you," Christopher says. 

"So am I," Eddie says, kissing each of their cheeks in turn. "Both of you."

Buck smiles and settles back into the couch. Eddie scoots closer, tucking himself against Buck's side. 

"Do we have anywhere to be?" Buck asks.

"Bobby and Athena invited us to dinner," Eddie says. 

"Please tell me it's not another surprise party," Buck says. "After the last one…"

"Hmm if I tell you then is it really a surprise?" Eddie asks.

"Eddie…"

"It's not a party," Eddie tells him. "It's just a dinner with the team to celebrate you being back."

"Sounds like a party."

"It's a get together."

Buck purses his lips together as he looks at Eddie. Eddie knows that as much as he wants to celebrate, he probably has his doubts. "I just don't want to jinx it."

"You won't," Eddie tells him. "You've worked so hard to get here Buck. It's going to be fine."

Eddie's going to make sure of that. Buck's been through enough. They all have. It's about time things start to go right. 

That night they show up at Bobby and Athena's at ten after eight. It's not until they're walking into the house, with their hands linked between them that Eddie realizes they never discussed what they were going to tell the team. 

"Buck!" Athena says, approaching him with open arms. Buck steps into them, hugging her tightly. 

"Hey Athena. Thanks for having us."

"Of course," Athena says, patting his cheek with a smile. "You're always welcome here."

He turns to Bobby who raises an eyebrow at him before squeezing his shoulder. "Anything you'd like to share?"

"What?" Buck asks, looking around at his friends smiling faces. "What do you…?"

"You walked in holding hands with Eddie," Chimney points out.

"Please tell me you've both come to your senses and admitted how you feel," Maddie says. 

Buck turns to Eddie, who smiles and puts his arm around his waist and kisses his cheek. Of course he's not going to deny it. Everyone already knows how he feels. "We're together now."

There's a series of squeals as the others crowd around them, hugging them both. Christopher is right there with them, smiling happily. Eddie puts an arm around his shoulder and hugs him close.

He looks at the people around him, at his family, and feels a sense of peace. He has everything he needs right here. He's always told Christopher things would be okay, and that's true. But now he can say that things are more than okay. They're perfect.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well there it is, the final chapter. Thank you to everyone who has been reading the fic. I really appreciate all the feedback, and I'd love to know what you think about the last chapter. 💜  
[My tumblr](http://tabbytabbytabby.tumblr.com/)


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